If you think this is great you should see the rest of my wallpaper

Welcome to yet another series and another introduction here at Gray's Matter, the blog that seemingly posts nothing but introductions anymore!

The mission statement of this series is simple:

1) I live in Paradise City.
2) You should move here immediately.

Some of you stopped reading at this point and are frantically packing a bag and pouring gasoline all over your furniture, one lit match away from starting an exciting new life.  You are not the people this series is for, because you already have your priorities straight.  After all, the two greatest places on Earth are:

• Vancouver, British Columbia
• standing within a 100 foot radius of yours truly

and if you live in Vancouver, you might have a chance to be in both of those places at the same time.  Who in their right mind passes up that kind of opportunity?

Apparently many, given that:
the population of Vancouver = 611,869
the population of the world (also, the readership of this blog) = 6.772 billion people

So, this series is for the 6.7715 billion of you who, for reasons that are stupid, cannot or will not move yourselves to Vancouver, BC in the next couple of days.  As a further point of clarification, when I say "Vancouver, BC", I mean Vancouver, BC proper and not the suburbs surrounding it.  Just like when people ride on the same SkyTrain as me and then claim to the local papers that "Justice Gray and I are best friends forever", there are people who like to live in the suburbs of a major city and yet still tell people that they live in said major city.  Ever hear someone say "The Microsoft offices in Toronto" when what they *actually* mean is the Microsoft offices in *Mississauga*?  And trust me, the difference between Toronto and Mississauga is like the difference between french kissing Justice Gray and french kissing a cactus, only that existence in Missisauga is significantly *more* painful! 

If I'm truly honest with you, there's also some selfishness on my part in presenting this series.  You see, as much as I love the worlds of management consulting and software architecture, I would leave that world behind in a *heartbeat* if the city of Vancouver would only offer me a job as:

• their head evangelist
• their mayor
• their KING

I have written letters, sent signed photographs, even a patented "Potential Friend of Justice Gray" certificate but to date no offer to become Vancouver's very first monarch has been sent my way.  I'm not too sure if the mail is getting lost; I have tried asking our postwoman but the only response I get is "Yeah, yeah, you're the king of Vancouver, blah blah blah, when are you going to wear those tight rollerblading shorts again?"  I think she is a lost cause. 

But *you* aren't!

I know that the *rare* use of hyperbole on a few of this blog's posts may make you skeptical when I state that Vancouver is a marvelous breathtaking city, but in the course of the next year or so, I will make you a believer.   And I *mean* over the next year - when I sat down to map out different things that make Vancouver the best place to live in North America I came up with no less than *30* different topics in less than 5 minutes.  That's right, not only are you going to be convinced to move to Vancouver but I will be padding this blog's content for years!   Everyone wins!

After this series is done, there will come a day when you will phone me and say, "Justice Gray, you have called and I have heeded.  My suitcase and I are outside of your apartment, and I am ready to live the rest of my life here in Vancouver, BC".  And when that happens I will call the police and report you for vagrancy - I've got enough problems with people camping outside my place as it is!!  Find your own condo! 

Next week - *why* is Vancouver so great?  We'll start by answering the question "What's in Justice Gray's backyard?"  Hint: it is not a flaming set of old rubber tires!  "Wow, everybody has a set of flaming rubber tires in their backyard in Winnipeg!"  And that is why you're moving.