I don't think it would surprise any regular reader that this blog, *aside* from being the greatest single continuous writing achievement in North America, is also no stranger to controversial confrontations that shake the development industry to its very foundations. Thankfully, Gray's Matter is also a place that brings men *together* in a close heterosexual bond. With the exception of one notable case that led me to the local police department to talk about whether restraining orders across North America were a viable option, people who enter into conflict with the metrosexual champion of the universe leave it being able to tell friends of theirs that they have actually engaged in dialogue with yours truly. If there is one thing that my interactions with people like Jeffrey Palermo, Carl Franklin, or the entire Castle project have taught me, it is that incredible good looks and witty banter make our industry a better place to be.

Astute readers might have think that the title of this post and the preceding paragraph are contradicting each other. After all, if there is only one thing that his blog has stood for in its lifetime it has been the merciless trash-talking of the rest of the industry! It only seems right that I would be supportive of Leon manning up and showing Scott Hanselman who is really the boss when they have their showdown at Tech Ed. So why is it that I can't bring myself to back Leon in the battle of his lifetime?  Hopefully a "tale of the tape" will shed some light on my decision.


Scott Hanselman

I'm not too sure about the rest of you, but when a man attends the Microsoft MVP summit, steals a pair of bowling shoes from the local 10-pin alley and calls himself a metrosexual, the first thought I have is certainly *not* "I trust this man and the advice he is giving." As if this faux pas didn't already demonstrate a significant lack of self-awareness on Scott's part, let's not forget that after a brief flirtation with a blog photograph that women I knew actually found hot (the one where he was making the "Shhh" signal with the brown background? Am the only person who remembers this striking piece of work?) he inexplicably went back to the photo currently on his blog with the "I'm not sexually threatening" smile. My friends, these acts are the acts of a man who has lost touch with erotic reality. Does anyone think attending a session by a man who no doubt wears blue jeans tucked into bright white sports socks is a good idea?

Now let's look at his competition:

The legendary Leon Bambrick

Not only is Leon a genius and an entrepeneur, but he is also a regular reader of this blog, which demonstrates to me he is a man of discerning taste and impeccable intelligence. Those of you who are searching for a photo of Leon on the web, stop wasting your time - Google Images has nothing for you. This is because Leon, like myself, is a sexual powerhouse and thus recognizes the dangers of having an online visual presence. One picture of yourself online and all of a sudden you start getting women showing up at your house at all hours of the night asking you to sign their bottoms with felt markers. This is even more awkward for married men like myself - why do you think Mrs. L and I are moving to Vancouver? - so I can understand why Leon is reticient about posting photos like this online:

Do you now understand why I can't support Leon? It's because Leon has already won in devastating fashion - he doesn't *need* my support. Heck, just read the part where he posts his fake little "apology" to Scott:

"(footnote for the humour impaired.... i'm a big fan of Scott Hanselman, a hanselfan infact, and i owe him a big thanks, because the fact he interviewed me on his podcast is the direct reason i've ended up speaking at tech ed -- plus he's given me various pieces of encouragement in this topic over the last few years. Can't wait to meet the guy in person. (Will he sign my boobs? Let's hope so) All up, he's truly the bestest guy in the whole world)"

"Everything's ok, man, I was just kidding and I love you madly, truly, deeply".   Right.  That is a charade - what Leon has done here is the verbal equivalent of giving someone a hug after kicking them in the nuts and curbstomping them!  Scott Hanselman deserves better than a curb-stomping.

Scott, I know you have been frantically refreshing the Gray's Matter site for weeks now in the hopes that I would post, so I hope that this missive gives you the inspiration you need to succeed against Leon Bambrick's Herculean physique. Don't worry, my friend...one day you will get a pair of shoes as beautiful as my white Springs and the healing process can truly begin. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

* This was taken from an E-mail I once recieved from Leon saying "This is what I look like in RL, are you sure you don't want to cyber?" I was flattered, my friend, but as I am totally hetero and totally married the answer is still no!