Not too long ago, I had the pleasure of witnessing
the eruption of yet another Mac vs. PC religious war. Someone innocently posted about how they don't deal with viruses anymore after making the move to OSX from Windows. The response? A gang-beating from a legion of angry Windows users. One went so far as to tie a person's Windows antivirus software choice with their ability to recommend an OS. I'm not going to weigh in on this whole argument myself, except to say that the person who made that claim does not have hair,
and we all know what that means.
This got me to thinking: why do we have such a divisive split in the industry when it comes to operating system preference or hardware preference? Now, thanks to the result of my heavy introspection, I have come up with a unifying and completely unbiased theory that explains why the tech industry is so divided:
your choice of operating system/hardware is directly related to how good-looking you are.
Mac
Who wouldn't tap this?Has no problem attracting the opposite sex. Words used to describe them include "charming", "funny", "sexy", and "I'd hit that". Often accused of lacking substance; of course, most of the world doesn't actually care if they do or not
because they're just too pretty.
PC
EhStrictly average. Words used to describe them include "reliable", "hard-working", and the perennial favorite, "has a nice personality". Prone to fits of jealousy. Capable, but overlooked for sleeker and sexier. Often refer to Mac users as "sluts" or "whores". Look down on the superficial outside world and its "stupid computer users", but secretly wish they could get invited to the "cool people parties" too. Constantly talking about how they wish people would "look underneath" to see what they're missing out on. Believe that Mac owners are secretly unhappy inside*.
Linux box**
We're not showing a picture here to avoid frightening the children
Looks are best not discussed. Comp sci stereotypes to the nth degree. Words used to describe them include "gross", "filthy", and "neckbearded" - that goes for men and women alike. No one even gets close to these people and that's okay, because they are already resigned to the fact they will never touch another human being. Many of them sit at their computer, teeth clenched, hoping that they can spontaneously procreate asexually.
If you deny this theory, you are denying
HARD SCIENCE.
* Note: A very distinct few PC users actually *are* actually better-looking than
average. Most of these people are actually Mac users but don't know it yet.
** Before everyone rushes to chime in here, I already know about Tom Opgenorth. He is an anomaly that no one understands. What sort of Linux lover willingly dresses in loud pink Hawaiian shirts and has an extensive gun collection? 
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