Second time is the charm?

Something has been keeping me up at nights recently and that something is Kyle Baley.    This is not meant in any perverse way whatsoever, but I know that despite this disclaimer I now have to make my annual request to all of the Justice Gray/Kyle Baley fanfic-writing "shippers" out there to please put your pens down.  Forever.    All right, now that we've gotten that out of the way I can explain to you my totally rational and not at all questionable reasons that I have been tormented by visions of Kyle for the last several months.

Those of you who are only familiar with Kyle through pictures of him shirtless in a leather jacket, lying next to some other dude are no doubt confused - perhaps even *amorously* confused, and who would blame you, I am sure - about why he deserves recognition.  If you happen to be more aware of Kyle's body of work, you likely agree with me that it's a miscarriage of justice that he has been passed over four times for the most coveted award in the software development industry today, *and* not received a Microsoft MVP award either.  Long-time readers will remember that I once recommended 4 people for the Microsoft MVP designation.  Scant months later, Microsoft honored 3 of those 4 developers and the 4th was Kyle Baley.  This snub would have been easily overlooked if it had not continued for something like 17 subsequent nominations, at which point it became less of an oversight and more of - dare we say - a conspiracy.  Anyway, back to sleepless nights.

Every 6 months it seems like the internet begins its regular whine/debate about how the Microsoft MVP program is lacking credibility.  SNORE.  This debate is tired because we already *know* the MVP program is a sad mockery of a recognition program.  Why? Kyle Baley is pretty much the MVP of the entire world, yet he is not a *Microsoft* MVP.  I then realized why I was waking up in cold sweats every evening after I posted a new entry in the Winners At Life series - because Kyle Baley had not yet been a recipient.  Thus this program of celebration and recognition, designed to be the one award system in the software development and consulting industries that truly mattered, could only keep its credibility and prestige if I declared Kyle Baley the 5th Winner At Life.  This is not to denigrate the previous winners of this award, all of whom have gone on to wonderful careers in software consulting, entrepeneurship, law enforcement and the adult film industry; however, Kyle has his own unique qualifications for this award that very few can match:

1. Kyle is a talented software developer, not quite the greatest ever like the author of this blog but probably a close 2nd place
2. Kyle is a great presenter and a pragmatic thinker as this blog has attested to on more than one occasion
3. Kyle lives in the Bahamas.    If that weren't enough, Kyle works from home and has a swimming pool in his backyard.  That's right, Kyle Baley lives a lifestyle one can only dream of.  Kyle makes it sound like it's all difficult with stuff like "home invasions" and whatnot, but let's get real, the only time someone gives you a home invasion in the Bahamas is to give you a surprise hug and whisper "Thanks for living here" in your ear before taking off to share that joie de vivre with someone else.
4. Kyle is chased by other celebrities, just like yours truly
5. Kyle was once accused of being me with a clever disguise    
6. in yet another stunning similarity to yours truly, Kyle has an Asian wife.  As I can attest to, this demonstrates not only exemplary taste in women but great wisdom in general.

Before all of you with Asian girlfriends or wives bombard me with E-mails, letters and videos that:
a) beg me to make you a Winner At Life
b) offer your girlfriend or wife to me in *exchange* for being named a Winner At Life (let's remember I am happily married *and* a committed Christian)

you should ask yourselves the following questions:

• "Am I the 2nd or 3rd greatest software developer that ever lived?"
• "Do I work from home as an independent consultant and live a rebel's life?"

• "Do I live in the Bahamas or somewhere equally paradisical?"
• "Do I think 'paradisical' should be a real word rather than just one in Justice's vocabulary?"
• "Do I think Justice should be in *charge* of the world's vocabulary?"

If you are able to answer all of these questions in the affirmative, then we maybe can start negotiating.  These awards aren't candy!

Finally, there is one other reason I felt the need to recognize Kyle - I need to remind Kyle that he and I are friends.  That's right Kyle - on Monday, October 5, 2009 please remember that we are blood brothers to the end.  In fact I would ask my entire audience to remember on Monday that Kyle and I are best buddies, truly two hearts beating with just one mind but in an explosively and totally hetero way.  Why? 

Oh, you'll find out...but in the meantime, you can find Kyle either on his blog at Codebetter or on twitter at @kbaley!