Gray's Matter | If we could be serious for a second

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Aug 21

by Justice~! Personal

Serious like a heart attack

"Bloody-Disgusting learned this weekend that Universal Pictures has officially begun casting for Jurassic Park IV, which will film in Kauai, Hawaii later this year! Laura Dern confirmed her return to the franchise as Dr. Ellie Sattler as Sam Neill will NOT return. We're told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes."

Repeat:
"We're told that the film is about the government who has trained dinosaurs to carry weapons and use them for battle purposes."

Is it too soon to camp out?

This is a sobering piece of news. Once Jurassic Park IV is released, we will have all witnessed the greatest movie we will ever see in our lifetimes. Think about that for a second. After you see Jurassic Park IV, no other movie will taste as sweet for the rest of your days. This saddens me. I'm only 30 years old - I've got at least 120 more years to go!! Unfortunately, it looks like at least 115 of them will be spent joylessly thinking about how I will never see another film as wonderful as Jurassic Park IV. I'm just surprised this didn't occur to someone earlier; after all, the only thing more awesome than this:

Special effects from Jurassic Park III

is this:

Special effects from Jurassic Park IV

Join me in mourning the inevitable death of North American cinema once this movie is released and moviegoers across the world say, "I never need to see another movie ever again, unless they come out with a Justice Gray biopic".

Comments

#1 Steven R on 8/21/2007 3:24:27 AM

Hmmmm seems like i've seen this somewhere before...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnHuNUNV0BE

#2 Ben W on 8/21/2007 4:36:49 PM

Sounds like a rehash of....

www.youtube.com/watch

#3 David Webb on 8/22/2007 9:52:15 AM

It will probably involve Velociraptors with headgear that shoots lasers - that's a probable weapon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#4 Tony on 8/22/2007 2:06:20 PM

The Death of North American cinema for me was when Rocky Balboa came out of retirement to step into the ring for the "last time" to face the heavyweight champ Mason 'The Line' Dixon. Now there's movie! Jurassic park's dinasaurs have nothing on a roided out sly. Hmm. Gets me thinking of one last North American Classic to come. Rocky VS Tyrannosaurus(with a Hellfire strapped to his back)

#5 Adi on 8/31/2007 11:21:01 PM

Hi
I have recommended your blog in my BlogDay post:
dotmad.blogspot.com/.../...ay-recommendations.html

#6 Gray's Matter on 7/16/2009 3:24:03 PM

Javascript raped my dog, and other falsehoods

Javascript raped my dog, and other falsehoods

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