I have never quoted so liberally from another person's post before, but extreme events require extreme measures. 

Here's the most recent post from my friend and fellow exec of the Edmonton .NET User Group, Donald Belcham (also known in both development circles and BDSM communities as the Igloo Coder). 

"I figured I should put up a bit of info about my plans for this spring's conference season.  So here they are.

April 14 - 17, MVP Summit...and of course Party with Palermo.  I'm only an attendee at this one, but I'm sure it'll be an interesting experience going to the mothership for the first time.

April 18 - 20, Alt.Net Seattle.  Again, only an attendee...or is anyone 'only' an attendee at an Open Spaces conference.

May 12 -16, DevTeach Toronto.  Speaking at this one.  As always I'm sure it'll be a great conference which will allow you to get quality face time with speakers and other people with great ideas.

May 19 & 20, The Great Developer Summit Bangalore. This one is going to be very interesting.  I've never been to India.  I'm from a wee-tiny-hick-town, not a city with many millions in it.  I don't do well in heat.  What I am looking forward to is seeing how passionate, pragmatic and skilled our development counterparts 1/2 way around the world are."

Now, it's easy to misread this as a simple "Here's my travelling schedule for the next month or two in the event you want to share a beer with me", instead of perhaps one of the most courageous posts of 2008.

Tragically easy.

Luckily for everyone, especially Donald, I am a *master* of critical analysis.  Let's re-read that last paragraph with the important points highlighted.

"May 19 & 20, The Great Developer Summit Bangalore. This one is going to be very interesting.  I've never been to India.  I'm from a wee-tiny-hick-town, not a city with many millions in it.  I don't do well in heat.  What I am looking forward to is seeing how passionate, pragmatic and skilled our development counterparts 1/2 way around the world are."

That's right - Donald Belcham is trying to tell you all that in addition to being a software development legend, he also suffers from male impotence.

You can laugh if you like, but to share this story with the entire internet takes a lot of testicular fortitude - certainly ironic considering the subject.  On its own, this post seems rather strange - after all, wouldn't you just go see a doctor rather than tell the entire development community?  But if you take into account his previous post, you can see the *true* message my good friend is trying to share:
 
It doesn't matter whether you have successfully migrated your team from VSS to Subversion if you don't have functioning genitals.

I'd like to take this opportunity to rally the community's support.  With the Microsoft MVP Summit only one week away, I want my friend to be able to hold his head high - it might be the only part he can!  It is now *my* turn to plead - to all of you MVPs out there, I am hoping you will be able to at least buy Donald a drink (if not several kilograms of Viagra) in order to show your support for his devastating disorder!

I have also made a small image you can handily post on *your* web site, or print and wear on a physical button if you want to show Donald you care about his well-being.


And to Donald: as always, you don't have to thank me for bringing attention to this - it's just what friends do!  We've got your back buddy!

Today is my good friend Donald Belcham's birthday (it's actually also my father's birthday, but I think he'd prefer to have as little to do publicly with this blog as possible).   I want to mention that sincerely I think Donald is an amazing dude, and someone who I have immense respect for both personally and professionally - he was the first .NET MVP in Edmonton Alberta, and no one is more deserving of that honor in this city.  He's an inspiration to software developers everywhere, but if you are lucky enough to have him as a friend there is none better.

To celebrate Donald's 7 decades of software development mastery I've decided to share one of my favorite stories about Donald, one that no one has heard until now. 

I hung with Donald, Steve Rockarts, Kyle Baley and some others at DevTeach in Vancouver this last year and Donald got into a bit of a debate with a 5 year old child walking in the Sheraton Wall Centre with his 27 year old mother when we went to get breakfast.  It was clear the child Donald was talking to (let's call him a "Tiny Tot") was just out of his league, but he was doing his best to hold his own in this debate (I think it was about whether or not the kid wanted to give Donald the rest of his ice cream).

The conversation started to get a little edgy, and Donald decided he wanted to move on to other topics, so he rapid-fired all the reasons why he thought the way he did about the thing he was talking about. *THEN* he kicked the kid SQUARE IN THE NUTS, grabbed his mom, french kissed her and then leaned over and yelled "I'M YOUR DAD!!!" at the crumpled mass of child on the floor. Short, concise, right between the legs.  It was overwhelming. A complete savant spasm that no one was ready for. It was a clear statement: “I’ve had fun, I’m done”.

The only response the child could give was a whimper before he curled up in the fetal position and rocked himself back and forth.

Donald then lays out, what to me, is pure Belcham:

That’s Prison Life Baby

The room erupted with spilled drinks and laughter, tears and people holding their sides from laughing. It was at that time that I decided never to debate Donald in anything, ever, especially if I had a child of my own!! 

I invite you all to share your own treasured Donald memories on your blog today to commemorate this occasion!!

With apologies to the guy who does Basic Instructions...

This photo was taken at the DevTeach Canadian User Groups summit last Monday (click for a larger version).



Why do I like this photo so much?  Well,

• Steve Rockarts is out of it
  
• I look like I'm stifling laughter
• Donald Belcham is hiding away because "people are *scary*!"

which makes this the perfect summary of the EDMUG executive in pictures.*

Stay tuned tomorrow for the only recap of DevTeach that matters!!

* To those of you who feel Steve Yang and Brad Daoust should be represented appropriately for this to be a real EDMUG representation, click here

Yes, this deserves that many tildes, and no, this is NOT an April Fools joke.

Donald Belcham is now Edmonton's newest Microsoft MVP (for C#).

I am telling you all with no sarcasm that there is no Edmonton-based developer who is more deserving of a Microsoft MVP than Donald.  Aside from being a vast reservoir for comedic material, he is the biggest reason for EDMUG's continued success and is a tireless, passionate, and incredibly talented software developer.  It is largely through Donald's efforts that we have the thriving Edmonton community that we do today, and I am very happy that Microsoft has chosen to recognize him for his efforts! 

Congratulations buddy!  I am very proud of you. 

And it is because of that pride I am announcing a one year moratorium on Donald Belcham jokes on this blog.  You've earned it buddy!

Okay, that *last* paragraph is April Fools for *SURE*!!!

Ah, Google - where the first two results for images of "Donald Belcham" (thanks, D'Arcy) pull up the newest member of Voltron and what appears to be the deranged scribbings of a toddler!  

Archived for posterity:

"I've had two Tylenol caffeine pills and very little sleep, so I might be a little jumpy."

When someone leads in with *that*, you know you're in for a good presentation.  Some highlights of Jean-Paul Boodhoo's talk last night at EDMUG:

• "...and if you do that, you are *screwed*."  (turns to sign language translator on the side) "Why don't you try signing *that*?"
• JP nearly pimp-slapping someone over questioning OO principles
• "Feel free to throw money at me"
• "I'm feeling horrible pain in my stomach but that's okay"
• "There are two different JPs.  Well, *maybe* there are two different JPs."
• "There's no 2 instances of a 5 dollar bill, but there's two instances of JP!"

Seriously, I think we were about 10 minutes away from JP screaming, stripping himself and yelling about all the bugs crawling on him.  All of that, *and* we got a look at the Proxy pattern and Unit of Work!

One other note: this was probably one of the highest attendances we've had since we started EDMUG.  Thanks to all of the Edmonton developers who have continued to impress us all with their enthusiasm, passion, and dedication.  It's great to be able to do these kind of things and you guys out there make it happen!

This is just a quick reminder that next week on Thursday, Feb 22, JP Boodhoo will be coming down to EDMUG to talk about enterprise design patterns and whatever else happens to come to mind!  JP's sessions are nothing short of phenomenal - don't miss out!

Yes, you read that right.  Forget about the Shrine Circus, forget about Cirque Du Soleil, forget about Ice Capades; *this* is the greatest traveling show in Albertan history - and it's coming here in only two weeks time!   Stunning renditions of Andrew Lloyd Webber musical hits, dancing girls, a pyrotechnic display, two caged lions, and enterprise design patterns*; this event is going to have it all.  For those of you have been to the JP Boodhoo experience previously, you know what to expect, and for those of you who haven't, I refer you back to my post last April for JP's inaugural appearance at the very first EDMUG meeting.  Trust me, in hindsight Mugatu and a nuclear explosion were a massive understatement in describing the awesomeness of that presentation!   If you don't care about seeing JP Boodhoo, you don't care about seeing a man juggle 5 flaming knives while refactoring a class structure with Resharper.  Trust me, bring your parents, bring your children...bring your parent's children!!! It will be something for the ages. 

As usual, we're in the Edmonton Public Library and more details can be found on the EDMUG web site.

Two weeks!!!

TWO WEEKS!!

And it was *awesome*!

A quick list of thank yous:

• Nolan Zak for inviting us out, and for drawing my name as the winner of an ASP.NET control suite!  The only thing I've won prior to this has been the hearts and minds of the entire North American populace, so it's nice to have finally received something else as a prize.
• The entire Victoria .NET Developers Association for the great job in setting things up at the university - this code camp was very well organized and definitely had a phenomenal line-up of talent, not to mention phenomenal attendance!
• Mike Culver of Amazon for getting over his distrust of people with sexy heads of hair and thus enabling him and I to have the most significant and courageous detente since the collapse of the Berlin wall.
• James Kovacs for not beating the crap out of the attendee who attempted to hijack his presentation with running commentary throughout.
• James Kovacs for not beating the crap out of *me* when I managed to leave his presentation out one dorr only to come in through the other door and then leave immediately afterwards.  Seriously, I'm done with the meth, guys; I won't let it control me!
• To Steven Rockarts, who did not attend but whose "Let's Get Physical" photographs were the hit of my talks!  How exciting to see these jokes are now transcending provincial boundaries!
• To all of the people who attended my talks for the great conversations afterwards about agile development, dynamic languages and the future of the .NET framework!  It's the post-presentation chats that make presenting so much fun for me.
• To the University of Victoria for having the greatest possible setup for presenters and attendees alike!  Donald has already waxed enthusiastic over on his own blog so I'll just point you there - what a great venue!
  
• To the numerous denizens at the security of the Victoria and Edmonton airports for telling me how much they admired my Mac!  Definitely a nice surprise and something I'll comment about in a later post.
  
• To my dinner companions at the Sticky Wicket for their patience with my verbosity at dinner!
• To the guy who won the free DevTeach registration - thanks in advance for giving that to me out of the goodness of your heart so that I don't have to put out a hit on you or anything!  Just kidding...sort of...*sob*
• Finally, to Japan Taxi for...well, I'll save that for the next post...

Fantastic city, fantastic weather, and a fantastic turn-out; thanks for having the EDMUG boys out there and hopefully we can do this again another time!