Gray's Matter
Justice Gray - North America's favorite metrosexual software consultant

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"This is the coming of age episode where he proves he's a real man by winning a children's card game all by himself!"
- Yu Gi Oh Abridged, Episode 8


I have many good memories of Vancouver including my engagement, my time living there after graduation, and of course Gino Vanelli & Stanley Park.  But for all of the good memories I have, there is one that I would *love* to scour out of my mind if such a thing were possible - the first time I witnessed the catastrophe of animation calling itself Yu Gi Oh.

To say that Yu Gi Oh is unmitigated garbage would be a slap in the face to unmitigated garbage everywhere.  You see, unlike most Saturday morning cartoons for men, Yu Gi Oh features no action whatsoever.  Instead, what little "action" there is occurs when two characters have a face-off with opposing decks of cards.    Literally, the characters stand there with dialogue approximating:

Character A: (draws card) "I play Blue Eyed Dragon!!"
Character B: (draws card) "My Living Sarcophagus will counter your Blue Eyed Dragon, and now I play Mummy of Despair!"

That's right, you are watching a cartoon recreation of two people playing Dungeons and Dragons.  There's no real mystery why something like this became the most watched cartoon on the Fox Kids lineup for several years.  Just like a 50 car pileup, one man choking out another with his own intestines, or Donald Belcham dancing at a club - people cannot resist observing something that was never meant to be.     

Now that you have the background, you know how sincere I am when telling you that Yu Gi Oh: The Abridged Version is *absoultely hysterical*, and one of the funniest cartoons I've *ever* seen.  I'm pretty sure you'll think so as well whether or not you've ever been cursed to see an episode of "real" Yu Gi Oh.  The abridged version is as amazingly awesome as the original version is astoundingly awful.  The episodes are only 5 minutes in length, but I can tell you if the original series was this entertaining it would have definitely replaced Transformers in my heart as one of the all-time classic animation masterpieces; it's at "Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime" levels of quality.  To that end, I've collected the "abridged" episode links below for your viewing pleasure.  Who would have thought that two people playing a demented RPG could be so entertaining?

Episode 01
Episode 02
Episode 03
Episode 04
Episode 05
Episode 06
Episode 07
Episode 08
Episode 09
Episode 10
Episode 11
Episode 12
Episode 13
Episode 14
Episode 15
Episode 16

Saturday, March 10, 2007 #