[ed: many of you likely had to re-read that byline to verify that CodeBetter's Kyle Baley himself has dropped by to offer a guest post.  For the millions of you that are in shock that a thought leader in our industry wants anything to do with my name, I believe that checking out the title to his very first post (on his original tech blog) will explain everything.  All links to Kyle's blog(s) within have been added by me for purpose of clarification.]

My first...ummm...exposure to Justice Gray was in May 2006. During a routine vanity search of my name, I discovered a review of a presentation I did at the Calgary Code Camp. And to this day, if you google "Kyle Baley hotness", that same review will appear at the top of the list. Some other phrases from that review:

• secret, *dirty* lover
• Kyle's shirt is half up
• Okay, fine, sexual. DON'T JUDGE ME!
• My backside is numb
• You gots a purty mouth

Like many, my first reaction to Justice Gray was "restraining order". (Come to think about it, that was my second through thirty-third reaction to him as well.)

But then, over time, fear for my own purity gave way to morbid curiosity. And over the next year and a half, we'd spar back and forth on the joys of Joey Tomato's Ahi Tuna Salad and our common interest in South American revolutionaries. During this time, keep in mind I had still never met Justice Gray face-to-face. Several attempts were made on both sides but, more often than not, I generally blew them off with a cryptic "I gotta bail. I'll explain later."

For you see, I was still afraid that I wasn't ready. I would think "I have one chance to meet Justice Gray for the first time. And that time is not now." So I waited for the opportune moment to present itself.

And that moment was Party With Palermo at DevTeach, November 26, 2007. An infamous moment captured on film by the Annie Liebowitz of software development :



Anyway, all this build-up doesn't really answer the question, "What does Justice Gray mean to me?"

The answer is not a simple one, as befits its subject. One could throw out words like Faith or Hope or Restraint or Reserved but these are such short words. So easily bandied about. And so lacking in the essence needed to describe Justice Gray. One cannot describe Justice Gray with mere one-word adjectives. If you must use one-off characterizations, a minimum of three words and ten syllables is required.

So we turn instead to more appropriate phrases. Phrases that cut to the very core of Justice Gray: "Extravagance and imprudence personified", "Reckless and incontrollable good-lookingness", "Wanton and all-encompassing aphrodisia", "An uninhibited, unabashed, unadulterated, unrepressed and unbridled lust for software development"

These are but crude beginnings of who Justice Gray really is and what he means to me. (Although after reading that list, I should add that I mean that in a purely heterosexual way.)

But mostly, he just means well.

Kyle the Reticent