I was sick today; since I don't have VPN access at work, I decided that for part of the day I should probably be working on thank you cards from my wedding three months ago.  You might be thinking that we should have been finished our thank you cards by now, and you might be right; however, both my physical stamina and mental stamina are pushed to their limits even after I write a couple of cards!  There are only so many different ways you can thank someone for coming to your wedding and for their gift, especially in the case where you don't even really know the person you are writing the thank you card to.  Never mind the cases where you recieve a gift that is completely inappropriate to give a couple for their wedding (thankfully, there were only one or two instances of this in our gifts; don't get me wrong, I am not so superficial as to be all about the gifts - but I figure if you're going to give something, some tact would be appropriate).   I would love to write a thank you card like the following:

"Name Withheld,

I saw your name attached to this gift but I can't figure out for the life of me who you are, or if we even know you.  Are we related in some way?  Thanks for attending the wedding - maybe we'll see each other again one day before I die, and you can remind me who you are."

Or...

"Dear [Censored],

Wow.  That's really all I can say after recieving this...this...whatever it is.  What is this, anyway?  Could you tell me?  Seriously, I need to know because eBay is not going to accept it until I can describe it.  Anyway, thanks...it's always the thought that counts, although I'm still at a loss as to what you were thinking.

Hope you're not trying to tell me something,
Justice"

Some of my friends at work suggested that instead of any of the above, I save myself time and just send out one giant forwarded E-mail:

"To All Whom This Concerns,

Mrs. Loquacious and I would like to thank you for your collective attendance.  We have attached an Excel spreadsheet here that lists all of the gifts we have received, along with the name of the person who gave it.  Please accept our thanks for the gift you have given!! 

P.S.  To the couple that gave us $10 for a wedding gift: don't worry about us squandering it - we put that towards a bounty on you.

P.P.S.  Forward this on to 7 other people you know - if you don't, you will have bad luck forever."