Obviously there are many who would *claim* to be a friend of Justice
Gray, but few that have the credentials to prove it
As many of you know, at the beginning of this year I announced that I would be taking
a sabattical from regular blogging. Seeing as the fabric of North American society
would likely unravel without regular posts about , I decided to
open
up the hallowed doors of Gray's Matter to anyone who wanted to post about how I shaped
their very existence, thus
a) leaving everyone with nothing but incredibly inspiring essays for a two-week period
b) skyrocketing the average post quality of this blog by a factor of
ten million.
At this time, I'd like to thank the following people for participating in this venture.
Clicking on the name will bring you to *their* tribute post, from which you can also
find links to their own blogs:
George Clingerman (
contest
entry)
Ridley Thunder (
contest
entry)
Russell Ball (
contest
entry)
Donald Belcham (
contest
entry)
Kyle Baley (
contest
entry)
D'Arcy Lussier (
entry
1, and
entry
2)
Dave Woods (
contest
entry)
Ben Walters (who did not make a post, but created the image you see above - unfortunately
the contest is not open to extended family, Ben!! But once you marry my sister-in-law
I just *may* allow you to call me your friend IN PUBLIC!!)
Choosing between these posts is like parents choosing their favorite child - they
*say* it's hard but really it ends up defaulting to whichever child is the best looking.
So with that, I can now officially announce that the *winner* of the "What Justice
Gray Means to Me" contest is...
actually *two* people!!
That's right, in the end I could not narrow it down to just *one* person. So
let's give a big round of applause to winner #1:
Russell Ball, The Caffienated Coder
Some would suspect that
Russell Ball only
won on the basis of the sheer amount of flowery praise and adulation in his post.
To those nay-sayers, I point you to the fact that I recieve claims of undying admiration,
love, and sexual attraction from friends, peers, co-workers, and various cashiers
on an almost hourly basis. Let your jealousy rest! The true reason Russell
is a winner in this contest is due to him writing a post that I can completely re-use
as an "About Justice Gray" post! Thanks very much to Russell for his participation,
but most of all for saving me work!
Obviously for an entry of this magnitude, even a "Potential Friend of Justice Gray"
certificate just isn't enough. So, considering that Russell is very big on coding
to music, he *also* receives:
A Hannah Montana 2 double CD!!
This isn't just any Hanna Montana CD set, either - it's apparently a double CD
complete with tunes from another famous artist, Miley Cyrus!!!
Congratulations, Russell - with this and the "Potential Friend of JG" certificate
coming your way, you have now reached a level of superiority among software developers
only held by *three* other people -
Martin
Fowler,
Ben Schierman, and the *other* winner
of the "What Justice Gray Means to Me" contest...
Jeremy Miller of
codebetter.com!!!
How is this even *possible*? After all,
Jeremy
Miller isn't listed among the people above who originally posted an entry on this
blog! But he did post an entry - just not on *this* blog.
Jeremy's post back in January, entitled
"Should
I Blog?" appears at first glance to simply be helpful encouragement motivating
other software developers to start adding their voices to the community. However,
upon reading to the *end* of the post, the massive twist is apparent:
this entire
essay was nothing more than a lengthy tribute to yours truly!! And I quote,
"And finally, if you're really, really lucky and good, you can become a
cultural force like Justice Gray."
For this final line, Jeremy is not only a winner of this contest, but
also
a winner at *life itself*. Congratulations to you Jeremy - I know
that you have toiled and sacrificed through your entire career for this very moment.
My only regret in giving you this award: now that you've achieved all that there is
to achieve, your retirement from the industry is likely imminent.
For the culmination of Jeremy's decade-long quest, we not only have a "PFOJG" certificate,
but *also*...
The High School Musical Novel, Stories from East High #7 "Friends 4Ever"!!!
This book, like the Hannah Montana 2 CD, is sitting on my desk right now, pristine
and unopened. However, I felt it my civic responsibility to share the back of
the book with this audience, so you can all share in the thrills that await Mr. Miller:
"There's a new girl in town!!
When a student names Ashley enrolls
at East High, Gabriella, who has plenty of experience transferring to new schools,
offers to show her around. But Gabriella soon begins to wonder if Ashley is
using her to get closer to Sharpay and Troy. After all, Sharpay is throwing
a birthday bash at the local country club - the hottest invite of the year!
And Troy's such a cutie - who wouldn't try to catch his eye? Will Gabriella
find that Ashley is true friendship material, or just plain trouble?"
Before you ask, the answer is
NO - I
do not know
how this book ends! For answers to these questions (and anything to do with
High School Musical), you'll have to ask Jeremy himself.
"But what about me? WHAT ABOUT D'ARCY!??!"
Many of you know that D'Arcy Lussier gave a
terrifying
magnum opus on this blog several months ago that mentally scarred a nation.
For those who have not read it, I encourage you not to unless you are looking to see
photographs of
Bil Simser's genitals.
Let's just leave it at that and move on.
However, D'Arcy, knowing that a "Potential Friend of Justice Gray" certificate was
the *only* thing that would get his peers to finally take him seriously as a software
developer, made a *second* post, this one a little less drug-addled but no less obsequious.
Unfortunately for D'Arcy this post was *also* disqualified as he somewhat plagarized
George Clingerman's feel-good inspirational message of the century. Yes, it
was his own spin but I couldn't risk George shivving D'Arcy to death at the MVP Summit.
You might even say that
my refusal to give D'Arcy a "Potential Friend
of Justice Gray" award saved his life. No need to thank me - I perform humanitarian
feats like this all the time.
However, *very* recently D'Arcy went all out in his attempt to get some sort of "in"
for this contest. You would think
that
the dedication of "I Touch Myself" to me would be quite significant, but it's
unfortunately the (at last count) 1,214th time someone has dedicated this song to
me before belting it out. However, D'Arcy has made history as the first *man*
who has done so, so it deserves some recognition. As well, D'Arcy put together
an
audiovisual
tour de force that we'll talk about in our next post - some moments were funny,
other moments were touching, but every moment was inspiring, considering it was entirely
dedicated to my favorite subject ever - myself. Really, there was no way I could
let that go without giving him *some* sort of award.
Unfortunately, giving D'Arcy a "Justice Gray" award for this so late in the contest
(remember, this ended back in January) would be unfair to the hard work and the tears
that Russell Ball and Jeremy Miller lovingly crafted into their essays. While
originally planning to send D'Arcy a chocolate medal saying "Thanks for participating",
I eventually decided to give him an award that benefits more than one person in the
community:
This is a win for everyone involved - D'Arcy recieves his first certificate of significance,
and
Donald Belcham recieves his
very first friend. You'll note that there is no secondary prize listed
on here, although previous recipients of the "Potential Friend of Justice Gray" award
know what that award is - trust me when I say to you, D'Arcy, perhaps you are better
off not claiming it!
Note to all winners: please send me your snail-mail address and I will be happy to
provide you with your prizes - otherwise I will send them to you for DevTeach!
