Gray's Matter
Justice Gray - North America's favorite metrosexual software consultant

I Wish These People Updated More Than Once a Year

I receive E-mails and fan letters - sometimes with women's undergarments attached - wondering at what point in my life I turned from an average human being into the poster child for North American sexuality.  The real truth of it is that rather than being the most spectacular late bloomer in recorded human history, I have been a raging, towering, *pillar* of manliness  since birth.  I have posted photographic evidence of this fact on previous occasions, but I've recently come across some items I felt worth sharing, items that will reinforce this point for what we from the street call "the haterz", items that I had forgotten even existed, much less that I had owned.

While unpacking boxes from the move to Vancouver, I came across a box labelled "Justice kids' books."  Inside of this box I found the following:

Given how often I am referred to as "The Mr. T of Software Development" - and have been *mistaken* for Mr. T - it's not too much of a surprise that I had 2 copies of this coloring book.  For those who know me, it is also not a shock that I seemed to have great difficulty coloring within the lines - however to be fair I was really tired last night and thus my hands were shaky.

What *was* astonishing was the *next* book in the box:

She Ra, Princess of Power Sticker Book

I'll admit that this discovery reminds me a lot of the David Laribee incident in that
a) I can't really explain why or how this ever came into my possession
b) to the untrained observer, it appears to call my rampaging heterosexuality into question

However, it's *easily* evident to me why I had this book when a toddler: She-Ra is a *fox*.  I'm not often all that into caucasian women (with some notable exceptions) but even then my taste for incredibly hot women was impeccable.  I defy you to find me another cartoon character with the legs that She-Ra possesses.  Never mind the fact that this book is a literary tour de force.  With deep dialogue like "When masked, CATRA is sneaky and cat-like" and "CASTASPELLA is a master of magic*", it's no wonder that between this and Dostoevsky I was a very busy 8 year old.

Knowing the average software developer the way I do, by posting these pictures I have done some of you the dual favor of:
  • giving you a glimpse into your hero's childhood past
  • giving some of you a date for next Friday night

To those of you who felt a twinge of shame when reading the above paragraph, I can only say:
  • According to Microsoft, most girls that software developers hang out with are 
    1. sexy
    2. fictitious,
  • so fixating on She-Ra really isn't going to be any different than any other weekend
  • and to D'Arcy Lussier - remember Mr. T is a lot older now than he used to be!   It just isn't going to be the same as when you were a teenager!
* am I the only one perturbed that there are so many wikipedia entries for She-Ra characters?

Monday, 13 October 2008 #