Gray's Matter
Justice Gray - North America's favorite metrosexual software consultant

I Wish These People Updated More Than Once a Year

Edmonton Code Camp is getting off to a great start, it looks like.  102 people!!  How crazy is that?? 

In case you were hoping for a detailed evaluation, I should warn you that I don't know how much I'll be able to talk about the presentation; I am admittedly *stunned* by the *incredible* good looks of the first presenter.   I didn't quite catch his name - Justin Gree?  Justos Ray?  Let me tell you, I'm a *firmly* heterosexual male but the appearance of *this* young thoroughbred no doubt has *many* in the room questioning their sexuality!!!  What biceps!

And that *shirt*!!  A TILDE~!  Truly whomever this mysterious young man is, he is a *paragon* of style!  

Getting to the actual content; phenomenal.

- A comparison of Steven Rockarts' favorite fantasy objects that I hope gets posted to this man's blog at some point!
- Steve keeps staring at the presenter's @$$ while he is standing there.  A little weird for being up in front of everyone - you'd think he'd be watching the presentation, but fine!
- A comparison of Steve in normal gear vs. 80s gear!!
- Steven seems to have some trouble concentrating...keeps licking his lips at the presenter.  Jistoss seems to be brushing it off but I can't help feeling a little weird witnessing it.
- Finally, some code!
- Steven has taken off his shirt while Justoss goes on about TDD in Ruby.  I didn't think it was that hot in here but everyone has their temperature threshold.  I guess he must be going through some sort of pre-presentation ritual here, because I can't figure out why he keeps licking his finger and touching his nipple.
- Nice stuff here about attribute shorthand and a whole bunch of time-savers.  Hope this guy posts his screencasts to his blog.
- Where are Steven's hands?  I'm beginning to think I'm going to take off pretty soon if this keeps up.
- Wonderful finish as he spams Donald Belcham's blog using WATIR!!  Hopefully that code gets released!! 
-  It is thankfully Steven's turn.  I say thankfully because as a result he's stopping licking his bicep and winking at Mr. Gree, as well at PUTTING HIS SHIRT BACK ON.  Yeesh!!
-  Steven gives away prizes, and Justas or whatever his name is nearly *kills* somebody throwing it in the dark!!  Don't mess with that guy!  Has he been working out?  He looks *terribly* fit.
- Steven shows off RubyCLR interop with forms development.  Huge stuff here as well, thankfully with minimal "MMMMMMMMMMMMMs" and "YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" but I would be fine with more awkward sounds if HE WOULD JUST PUT HIS PANTS BACK ON
- Session is over, with Rockarts and Gray answering questions.  People who have read this blog regularly know that I occasionally exaggerate - but this was probably the single most LIFE-CHANGING EVENT ever. 

Wow.  Sincerely, I feel like a better developer, and more importantly, a better *person* for attending.  I heard some rumors in the crowd that this Jasstass guy is actually married...thanfully that means my marriage is not in trouble..my wife is faithful but I think she might choose this guy over me, and not just for the tilde-laden shirt.  Uh oh...but it sounds like his relationship is in trouble because of his amazing presentation!!  Apparently Ruby is his mistress...but I guess I can see that.  Someone told me that guy prefers Asians, and Ruby *is* Japanese in origin.  Ah, I just heard him say that his wife is ridiculously hot.  Even better looking than himself, in fact!

In conclusion, I have to say damn that man for being so dedicated to his craft and his wife, the two mistresses with which us mere mortals can never hope to compete.  And a note to Steven - when you asked if the audience would like to see you pour oil on yourself in your underwear, the answer was a resounding *NO*.  Don't ignore your audience next time!!!

Saturday, September 30, 2006 #