No, Donald, I'm not referring to the code you write! I am referring to one of the many things I learned from reading the pulse pounding *THRILL RIDE* of the century, "You: The Owner's Manual" by Michael F. Roizen and Melmut Oz, which is part of the series of books that includes "You: On a Diet" and "You: Ultimate Cage Fighter".    As entertaining as mocking Vista can be, I thought I'd take a small break from it to share this *vital* book review with you...before it's too late.

We start our tale of intrigue and biological espionage with a small quiz: to give *you* the chance to prove that you are a master of the human body.  Unfortunately, while I am a master of everything else in North America, my score of a *whopping* 17 out of 50 on their multiple-choice exam indicates I obviously have a long way to go.  This despite my scoring a 19.1 on their related RealAge test a year or so ago!!  I smell conspiracy.

Regardless, I'm not bitter about this in the slightest; for in the end, I learned a *TON* about the human body, including:

• The reason why men can drink more alcohol than women, unless that man's name is Anand Narayan
• The reason why size *does* matter!! 
• Why Q-Tips are not for ears
• How to find out whether you have enough stamina to have sex (however, this does not teach a developer how to *get* sex, which is likely a topic needing an entirely separate book)
• the one similarity between the brain and the penis
• and *especially* for Donald, why it's okay to have regular doses of alcohol, and which ones are most beneficial (sorry, buddy, scotch is not mentioned)
• a cartoon diagram of the rectum!
• and *MORE*

I don't want to spoil all of the shock twists and surprises that this book has in store for you, but let's just say that the B and T cells have a tough fight ahead of them. 

The good:

• So much information.  I learned something new on every page, and I can assure you that this has nothing to do with my gross incompetence!
• PLAIN ENGLISH.  No obfuscation going on here, my friends.  Everything is laid out in almost 3rd grade style.  Lots of pictures so that you're not intimidated by all those confusing words!  It's almost like "Head First Human Body"!

The bad:

• the jokes, much like the pick-up lines of many developers I know, are beaten down and seen better days.

The ugly:

• No matter how cartoony you make a diagram of the human rectum, it is still a diagram of the human rectum.  That being said, I know of one bonafide rectum fan who will pick up this book for that alone!

Final word:
The book is a 5/5 - I'm ignoring all the negatives here because at worst this book will teach you something and at best it will save your life.   If only Captain America had read this book - things might have been different.  From previous reviews, you know that I would *normally* engage in wall to wall whips 'n chains with this book.  But not this time - after all, who is really into getting hot and steamy with someone obsessing over how much gas the human body produces every day?  *TOTAL* turnoff, gentlemen!  But a strong, *healthy* recommendation otherwise.