Scott Bellware recently critiqued a .NET Rocks podcast that mentioned Scrum in passing.  The content of his post was not all that controversial, although some might say that of the comments he left underneath it, including:

"NET Rocks is my day-time soap opera...I yell at my iPod and throw things at my screen every time something scandalously misleading comes across the pipe.  Indeed, it feeds my inner trailer trash."

or

"Considering the .NET Rocks audience, I can't but believe that there are people out there today who now think that Scrum is a flavor of XP."

Both of those statements come off as more than somewhat denigrating to both of the guys who run .NET Rocks (Richard Campbell & Carl Franklin), not to mention potentially insulting to any of the actual .NET Rocks audience*! 

I'm not so sure this battle is actually about XP, scrum, or any other potential agile methodology.  Take a look at these pictures below and see if you can't connect the dots.





Yes, this online battle has nothing to do with technical competence but everything to do with follicular jealousy.  How do I know this?  You see, in addition to my "Rule of 10" and "Rule of Spinning Rims", I also live my life by a third code - bald people cannot be trusted.  I can tell you from personal experience that bald people wander the earth with one purpose and one purpose only - to kill you and steal your sultry mane for their own.  

I mean, seriously, Scott is being positively *politically correct* about his statements.  Which of these statements do you find less inflammatory?

"[.NET Rocks] feeds my inner trailer trash."
or
"I am going to scalp Richard Campbell so that his hair will be my hair and his loves will be my loves and HIS LIFE WILL BE MY LIFE YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

Frankly, I'm more comfortable reading the first statement anytime.

I have a dream - a dream where bald people and people with sexy, lustrous heads of hair like myself can co-exist...since we can never truly be friends.  Barring that, of course, is the formation of a separate country where the bald people can live away from the rest of us!  Is this simply too much to ask of the human race?