Somehow out there in the wilderness exists a man such that to call him merely a "man" does him an injustice.  I can tell you definitively that there are far more fitting titles - like "icon".  Or "legend".   "International superstar".  LOVE MACHINE.  "Sexiest man alive".  However, this blog focuses enough on myself as it is, so I'm going to talk about the next best thing - Laurence Gowan. 



D'Arcy thought he was dragging a shameful secret into the light, but he was *wrong*.  For am I proud of my assocation with Laurence Gowan, my friends; *DEAD* proud.  In addition to the 8 other things you know about me, I can sing pretty much the entire popular Gowan library, and am available to do so at weddings, bar mitzvahs, and technical presentations.  EDMUG as a group decided we would not reveal this talent to the public.  After all, we are a cohesive group; we're not looking to repeat the problems the Beatles had when Yoko dragged John away.  However, with D'Arcy publically revealing this I am afraid we have no choice but to confront this head-on.


While my first exposure to Gowan took place as a child, my ability to sing his entire song library was actually discovered while in Hong Kong.  My girlfriend at the time (later my wife) was feeling rather depressed and teary that day about the fact I would soon be going back home to Edmonton.  Another thing you don't know about me is that I hate watching other people cry. This is due to years of breaking women's hearts and witnessing the carnage afterwards; I no longer have the stomach for it!  So I decided, like any reasonable man, that I needed to either
a) cheer Ms. L up to the point she stopped crying
b) annoy Ms. L to the point she stopped crying and instead got angry at me

Thinking fast, I launched into a stunning rendition of "Strange Animal" by Gowan.  This somehow turned into a 15-minute medley of Gowan's greatest hits, covering such songs as "Moonlight Desires", "Cosmetics", "Criminal Mind", and "All The Lovers In The World".  The best part of this: when I was finally finished, I realized that the entire subway had gone silent, and *everyone* was staring at me!  Was it looks of lust or of confusion and fear?  I believe the former.  It was thanks to Gowan that I am now a *huge* sexual icon and celebrity in Hong Kong.  Trust me, I'm *massive* over there.  If you doubt any part of this story, just ask my wife; unlike many of my tales, there's *nothing* tall about this one (after all, have you seen Hong Kongians?  They're tiny!*)


So, even though I can also sing the entire song libraries of the Village People and Earth, Wind and Fire, why is it that Gowan has such a firm hold on my heart and yours?  Obviously all of these guys pull out all the stops for entertaining the masses and thus deserve our respect.  But what sets Laurence apart?  It's because unlike the rest of the above musical acts, Gowan is relatable.

Who hasn't gotten lost in the forest sporting a giant mullet and been captured by hunters?  Has anyone *not* wandered around Aztec pyramids in a drug-addled daze?  Finally, how many software developers do *you* know that hide under the covers at 30 to read comic books like Gowan does below?


If you're like me, the answer to that question is too many.

Am I the only exuberant fan of Gowan in the EDMUG exec?  Hardly.  I just like the guy's music!  As my wife pointed out, I don't try to emulate him in personal photographs like *some* people...