Does anyone else remember that episode of the Smurfs where Lazy Smurf gets infected by a virus that turns him purple and crazy, and then goes around biting other smurfs tails to turn them purple and crazy? Eventually the entire Smurf village is infected and it’s only through random chance (a crazed Papa Smurf smashing his lab) that the Smurf populace even survives. Trust me, watching this episode was one of the most traumatic events of my childhood. For those of you who think I just hallucinated this thing while high on PCP (hey, things were tough when I was 8 years old), I have attached a censored version of the episode below, in which Cartoon Network has removed all of the explicit tail-biting present in the original.

No, I don’t know where to find an uncensored version, and I highly doubt that many of you are interested in seeing a bunch of blue midgets biting each other on the bottom. Aaaaaanyway, the “5 things I don’t know about you” meme currently traveling along the blogs reminds me of this episode, only with less gnawing of posteriors. After watching Donald succumb to the peer pressure and even my wife getting in on the posting, I figured I had best respond to the three people tagging me. Originally, it was going to simply be:

1. D’Arcy Lussier tagged me
2. James Kovacs tagged me
3. George Clingerman tagged me
4. I’ve already done this previously!
5. YAWN.  How boring would *that* list have been?

So instead I decided that I should share with you the things that you don’t know about James, George, and D’Arcy. I don’t mean the stuff they already put on their blogs…I mean the stuff they don’t want you or their families to know – the kind of sordid things that we in the software development industry call “too hot for TV”. So without further adieu:

James Kovacs

1. Favorite phrase: “I ain’t going out like no punk bitch!”
2. Second favorite phrase: “Is James Kovacs going to have to choke a bitch?”
3. Said the above to Donald Belcham after finding out he didn’t have a guest room at Edmonton Code Camp.
4. Favorite musical group: N.W.A.
5. Mouth is full of solid gold teeth – paints them white for presentations so as to not to make developers feel uneasy.

**** tha police indeed, James

George Clingerman

1. Owns the second largest collection of video game systems known to man.
2. Known to spontaneously break out into a round of Dance Dance Revolution
3. Only it’s in the street, and he sings the music himself
4. Said music is “Africa” by Toto
5. Stopped reading this post after the first paragraph, is now looking for “uncensored Smurfs video” on Google as we speak

D’Arcy Lussier

1. All of D’Arcy’s technical posts are ghost-written by his wife while he is playing World of Warcraft for 70 hrs a week.
2. D’Arcy has two characters in WoW, the first being a female night elf named Randi.
3. D’Arcy’s second character is coincidentally also a female night elf named Candi.
4. Despite D’Arcy playing WoW for 70 hours a week, both characters are still at level 1, since
5. D’Arcy spends all his time on WoW trying to get the two to make out with each other.

I'm not putting that image on here - this is a family site!

Since only I have the power to break this vicious cycle, I tag no one!