Gray's Matter - Microsoft: Heroes Happen Here...well, fat and ugly heroes anyway (Justice Gray's blog)

I was reading Phil Factor's parody of Microsoft's enthusiastic, energetic, and most importantly synergystic announcement that SQL Server 2008 was going to be delayed. I don't know whether I laughed more at Phil's parody or the announcement itself. I will not be talking about *that* any further here as we all know the only easy target we take shots at here on Gray's Matter is Donald Belcham. We are going to discuss something far more serious today, something I discovered on reading the comments on Phil's post:

The Heroes Happen Here comic.

As much as we all wish this was also a joke or parody of some sort, you can verify by clicking on the link that what I am discussing is all too real. I've done you the favor of reading this thing so you don't have to. Onward!

Microsoft - Heroes Happen Here: Fat, Ugly Heroes P1

(cllck on image for larger version - I'm not responsible for any damage that occurs)

Large mullet? Check. Inability to dress himself? Check. Standard geeky T-shirt underneath? Check. Failure to shave his chin? Check. Massively overweight? Che...oh come on, seriously, WTF *is* this?

But lest you think I'm just being my normal superficial self and judging this man by the impossible task of looking as good as yours truly, look at panel 5 for this man's explanation of what he does for his son, who is in elementary school:

"I write algorithms we call code to build software packages and drivers that do everything from sending E-mail and encrypting CDs to calibrating airplanes and lasers."

Awesome. Sincerely, who in the world explains their job in this ultra-geek manner to their 5 year old? That does remind me that this comic obviously takes place in an alternate universe, as there is no way this man would have found a mate to father a child with in the real world.

Am I being too harsh? Let's go to page 2!!

Microsoft - Heroes Happen Here: Fat, Ugly Heroes P2

(this caused me the BRAIN DAMAGE - take your chances if you must and click for larger)

WOW.

So, our development hero treats configuring a firewall like a fantasy D&D world, while he works in a room filled with action figures and several empty cans of cola. No stereotypes here. I'd like to note that our hero has changed his clothes to yet *another* awkward combination of ill-fitting plaid shirt (look at the drawing, there's no way he can button up that thing) with standard "geek" T. ARRRGH. No bonus points for the presence of a "wife", who is obviously some robotic construct.

Microsoft Heroes Happen Here - Fat, Ugly Heroes P3

(you know the drill by now)

Do you want to know what would happen if I told my wife that "hackers all over the world fear me"? That's right, the same thing that happens to Donald Belcham every night - complete lack of sexual congress.

Note the part about fixing a "computer problem" - this comes into play later.

Microsoft : Heroes Happen Here - Fat, Ugly Ones P4

I can't tell you how "cool" I would find *my* dad if while investigating an EBay sale he grabbed the monitor like a deranged maniac. Then again, my dad also knows how to shave properly so perhaps I am being unfair. The only other thing I have to say about this panel is that given the way this kid likes to wear blue shirts with red jackets it's obvious which parent he is emulating.

As if all of this wasn't enough, we are now presented with this:

"Did you solve the problem?"
"Well, you *did* get the money and it's in your account."

Let me translate that for you:
"Did you solve the problem?"
"Well, nothing actually happened here, and I flipped out on an ancient monitor for absolutely no reason whatsoever. In fact, none of what I did actually had discernable value!! I'm not only fat but ineffectual as well!"

Bonus points for the robot wife, obviously programmed to say, "Lee, your daddy is a genius!" A genius for *what*!?!?! For sitting at a computer and bitching for a while? My goodness, I've been using the wrong interview criteria all this time! Silly me, looking for someone who can solve problems when I should have just hired people who could pretend to non-technical users that they actually accomplished something too complex for them to truly understand (1)!!

Sigh.

We've talked about Microsoft, their strange stereotyping of developers as homely and useless, and their rampant prejudices against good-looking members of society in previous posts. This is no different than par for the course. But think about this for a second:

if you are a software developer, *this* is what Microsoft thinks you can relate to.

In fact, this comic shows you that Microsoft thinks this is the typical software developer.

Seriously, if marketing thought this would be in the slightest bit offensive to a software developer, it never would have seen the light of day as part of Microsoft's campaign for a monumental launch tour.

Our industry has a hard time attracting new developers. Why is this? Well, if *you* were looking for a career and saw *this*, would *you* feel that being a software developer was cool?

That's what I thought.

(1) in fairness, I'm pretty sure there are some multinational consulting companies that were formed in this very manner

Monday, February 04, 2008

Comments [11] Personal | Technical |

2/4/2008 2:48:49 PM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

In all seriousness how could that have really passed multiple levels of QA before somebody said... "ummm not all developers look like this"

I personally like to solve problems by
a) actually doing something... and
b) not acting like a douche-bag in the process

Boo on Microsoft marketing for this one.

Ben Scheirman |subdigitalAT NOSPAMgmail dot com

2/4/2008 3:21:38 PM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

"while he works in a room filled with action figures"

Strange, I know a developer that works in a room with action figures too. (well room next to it anyways.)

Also would like to add a big double thumbs down that I need to install Silverlight to view the website. (Super striped down attempt to copy flash with like 90% less features)

Ben Walters

2/4/2008 3:52:34 PM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

Ben S:

This happens to be my credo as well. I'm pretty astounded that cartoon even exists.

Ben W:

I don't think you know a developer that works in a room full of action figures - you *might* know a developer that works beside a room with a display case full of valuable collectibles!!! *KEY* difference!

Justice~!

2/4/2008 7:39:50 PM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

lol @ rampant prejudices.

Yea, I don't think he would be the stereotypical developer, at least not outside "Cliffs, Oregon".

What does a "normal" developer look like anyway?

a mid-thirties teenager with tired red eyes, worn out shoes, badly in need of an elliptical machine and a tan? Or is that the 'typical' sys-admin type?

People outside of this canned image often are paid less and have to work twice as hard to be thought of as half-as good and are not often given the chance.

DISCLAIMER:
in microsoft's defense, this ad could be replicated in multiple languages with all sorts of local sterotypes thrown in to even the playing field. NOT that it would make it right even if that was the case but there is no way of knowing this is the only ad in rotation. Besides someone's always bound to be pissed off but that begs the question, are they upset about it enough to do something about it in the real world? It's just a cartoon.. and believe it or not there are still a few cookie-cutter developers out there.. and I'm sure more than a few are reading this and wondering what all the "fuss" is about.

Os.

2/5/2008 11:45:12 AM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

I think it's just as likely that we are misunderstanding their target audience, as it is they are. I see these ads as not targeted at me, a professional developer, but targeted at corporate IT and business managers who may very well see their "geeks" through this type of lens.

I think our disappointment should probably be that they don't care about marketing to the passionate software developers using their tools, but cater to the big corporate "Office Space" stereo-types (and the fact that this strategy will probably serve them just fine, at least in the near term).

Brian Donahue |brianAT NOSPAMpigeonmoon dot com

2/6/2008 6:18:16 PM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

Why does he jam his fingers up his nose in the third comic when she asks him about if he remembers paper?

Steven R |stevenrockartsAT NOSPAMgmail dot com

2/7/2008 1:38:41 PM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

I just saw this comic in one of their "TechNet" E-mail newsletters, and went to the comic page to say something about their proposal of junking outdated PCs (figurative or not).

I'm not of the mind that everything need be realistic, factual, progressive, or other such... and in a way, I can understand a lot more about this comic when I assume that it's not meant to be that way. I've been in the situation where I've fixed something that seemed fairly simple to me, but the owner of the PC was elated that whatever they wanted was working again. It's not an attack against the wife's intelligence or the husband's lack of vocabulary, but I could imagine it being presented in a non-stereotypical and non-outmoded fashion. I was trying to avoid a tautology, but it could have been presented differently.

The comic actually seems like the geeky wishes of the stereotypical "developer" as imagined by the stereotypical "manager." Everything's good in moderation, but this comic seems basically ancient to me, aside from the artwork.

(Not that antiquated stuff is bad, but this is the bad antiquated stuff.)

Isaac Geronimo

2/17/2008 10:01:57 AM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

Ah man if Microsoft had made him thin you would have said that was wrong. it doesn’t matter what they do someone somewhere will either be offended or board and write about them.

All I can say it at least it got your attention.

And we all know developers make the world go around, why not give them credit for it!

Jase

Jason Whitaker |jason dot whitakerAT NOSPAMhotmail dot co dot uk

2/17/2008 10:11:57 AM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

Jase:

Thin most definitely does *not* describe the stereotypical software developer. That being said, you are right in saying I would have still been offended had they continued to portray him as an incompetent, socially awkward douchebag.

Having some knowledge of marketing, I can safely say that "At least it got your attention" does not always imply a success. Turning off your audience or insulting a large scale demographic can get attention to be sure but long-term that doesn't work for anything.

Justice~!

2/17/2008 10:13:45 AM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

I'd also add that my central point there is that this industry has a hard enough time attracting *new* software developers. Having had some experience in the industry I'm hardly a "new" developer unless you're basing it on my knowledge ;). How in your opinion does this cartoon
a) help encourage new developers to join the industry
b) make developing look "cool"?

Justice~!

2/17/2008 10:56:43 AM (Mountain Standard Time, UTC-07:00)

:) i don’t think the cartoon makes developers look cool, but was that the intention??

I’m not a developer nor
a comic fan.

But found myself relating to the comic and read the entire storey board.

Developers or to be honest IT has never been cool, when was the last time you went to a party and started a conversation that you work in IT....errr maybe never as you know what would happen!

IT isn’t cool, well not to the rest of the world but it’s a passion that a simple comic strip can’t change.

you are either a developer or you’re not, and OK Microsoft might just might have got some of it wrong, but at least they are trying to make the real people in the background noticeable (For a change.)

Cheers

Jase

Jason Whitaker |jason dot whitakerAT NOSPAMhotmail dot co dot uk

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