(I've had to break these up for length - the rest of my adventures in Vancouver will be up post-haste)

My Sunday begins with a phone call in the morning from none other than EDMUG's own Program Director, Steven Rockarts.  Steven is calling to celebrate the fact he is now the first person in history to miss two flights in a row due to nothing but lethargy, having slept in past his first flight and showing up late to the second one.  You might be surprised that *anyone* could manage to do this unintentionally, but then again, you don't work with Steve.  The following exchange between my wife and I sums it up:

Mrs. Loquacious: "How does *anyone* miss two flights in a row?"
Justice: "Rockarts?"
Mrs. Loquacious: "Point taken"

My flight is uneventful, which is unusual for an EDMUG executive member in that I have neither missed several flights, nor chased several stewardesses with my belt undone.  However, the moment I arrive in Vancouver the games begin.

Literally 10 seconds after getting off the plane my cell phone begins vibrating ferociously.  Obviously, it must be my wife, knowing when my flight arrives!  I pick up only to hear the Igloo Coder screaming:

"HEY BUDDY ARE YOU COMING OUT WITH US OR NOT YEEEEEEAAAAHAAAAA" 

I hurry Donald off of the phone and explain that maybe after I talk with my wife and actually get something to eatI can come out to hang.  Of course, it doesn't take more than about 15 minutes before I get another text message...

"So you're coming out tonight right?"

I arrive at the hotel and once I get in the room, the phone rings.  It must be Mrs. L!  I pick up and..

"HEY YOU @(#@* (**#*!!*@##   WHAT'S UP MAN!?!?!  GET TO THE BAR BEFORE I BEAT YOU DOWN"

of course, it's Donald again, only this time even drunker than previously and making even less sense than normal.   I try to reply that I still need to get some food, but it's for naught as Donald has decided to pass his cell phone around the bar in an attempt to pick up chicks.  After listening to static, swearing, and vomiting for 2 minutes I give up and decide to go pick up food instead.  30 minutes later, I am back in my hotel room eating one of the most marvelous burritos ever created (thank you to Steamrollers) and expecting a text message from my...oh, forget it, you already know where this is going:

"Quit being such a @#(*@  @*##*@(  and walk over here!"

"Dude, just admit it - you are drinking ALONE.  Besides, I still have to do some work on my presentation!!  P.S.  This burrito is amazing"

"@(#&#& you, and @*#&$ your presentation you candy-@$$ed burrito lover"


and then, the coup the grace - I get a text message from a number I don't even *recognize*!

Stranger: "Dude, are you joining us tonight?  Donald just said something about you making love to a burrito"

Justice: "First of all, I would totally make love to this burrito if I physically could, because it is that awesome.  Second, who are you and how did you get this number?"

I have no time to discover the answer to this mystery as immediately after sending this there is a large *THUD* sound at my hotel room door.  I open it up to find a large hunting knive sticking out of it and a note attached that appears to be written with someone's blood! 

"Hey there buddy!

Just wanted to wish you good luck on your MVC presentation on Thursday.  I sure hope nothing weird happens to you before then!

See you at the party tomorrow - or *will* I?    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

This has all been exciting enough for one evening, so I walk back in the room to get some sleep for Monday.  But of course, before I retire, one more text message is received:

"You're a loser. =("

As you might be able to guess, that one wasn't from my wife either...

To be *continued*!