(I've had to break these up for length - the rest of my adventures in Vancouver will be up post-haste)

My Sunday begins with a phone call in the morning from none other than EDMUG's own Program Director, Steven Rockarts.  Steven is calling to celebrate the fact he is now the first person in history to miss two flights in a row due to nothing but lethargy, having slept in past his first flight and showing up late to the second one.  You might be surprised that *anyone* could manage to do this unintentionally, but then again, you don't work with Steve.  The following exchange between my wife and I sums it up:

Mrs. Loquacious: "How does *anyone* miss two flights in a row?"
Justice: "Rockarts?"
Mrs. Loquacious: "Point taken"

My flight is uneventful, which is unusual for an EDMUG executive member in that I have neither missed several flights, nor chased several stewardesses with my belt undone.  However, the moment I arrive in Vancouver the games begin.

Literally 10 seconds after getting off the plane my cell phone begins vibrating ferociously.  Obviously, it must be my wife, knowing when my flight arrives!  I pick up only to hear the Igloo Coder screaming:

"HEY BUDDY ARE YOU COMING OUT WITH US OR NOT YEEEEEEAAAAHAAAAA" 

I hurry Donald off of the phone and explain that maybe after I talk with my wife and actually get something to eatI can come out to hang.  Of course, it doesn't take more than about 15 minutes before I get another text message...

"So you're coming out tonight right?"

I arrive at the hotel and once I get in the room, the phone rings.  It must be Mrs. L!  I pick up and..

"HEY YOU @(#@* (**#*!!*@##   WHAT'S UP MAN!?!?!  GET TO THE BAR BEFORE I BEAT YOU DOWN"

of course, it's Donald again, only this time even drunker than previously and making even less sense than normal.   I try to reply that I still need to get some food, but it's for naught as Donald has decided to pass his cell phone around the bar in an attempt to pick up chicks.  After listening to static, swearing, and vomiting for 2 minutes I give up and decide to go pick up food instead.  30 minutes later, I am back in my hotel room eating one of the most marvelous burritos ever created (thank you to Steamrollers) and expecting a text message from my...oh, forget it, you already know where this is going:

"Quit being such a @#(*@  @*##*@(  and walk over here!"

"Dude, just admit it - you are drinking ALONE.  Besides, I still have to do some work on my presentation!!  P.S.  This burrito is amazing"

"@(#&#& you, and @*#&$ your presentation you candy-@$$ed burrito lover"


and then, the coup the grace - I get a text message from a number I don't even *recognize*!

Stranger: "Dude, are you joining us tonight?  Donald just said something about you making love to a burrito"

Justice: "First of all, I would totally make love to this burrito if I physically could, because it is that awesome.  Second, who are you and how did you get this number?"

I have no time to discover the answer to this mystery as immediately after sending this there is a large *THUD* sound at my hotel room door.  I open it up to find a large hunting knive sticking out of it and a note attached that appears to be written with someone's blood! 

"Hey there buddy!

Just wanted to wish you good luck on your MVC presentation on Thursday.  I sure hope nothing weird happens to you before then!

See you at the party tomorrow - or *will* I?    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

This has all been exciting enough for one evening, so I walk back in the room to get some sleep for Monday.  But of course, before I retire, one more text message is received:

"You're a loser. =("

As you might be able to guess, that one wasn't from my wife either...

To be *continued*!

In a spirit of D'Arcy's posts, here are my own semi-final predictions for the CFL...

On Sunday, November 12th, Justice and Mrs. L will have an exciting day scheduled, featuring a wonderful leaisurely breakfast at Granville Island village followed by parking their car at their hotel and taking the skytrain down to Metrotown for shopping.

On the morning of the 12th, Justice and Mrs. L will marvel at the sheer number of people walking around outside their hotel, making it difficult to get their car out of the parkade.  Justice will remark, "Is there some sort of a party going on today?" and on the drive to Granville Island, both Justice and Mrs. L will re-iterate how neat it is to be in a hotel right across from BC Place...after all, if you ever wanted to see a concert or something it would be terribly convenient.

After their breakfast, Justice and Mrs. L will encounter an abnormal amount of traffic going back to their hotel along with a bunch of signs saying "BC Lions block party".  Justice and Mrs L shall also find out, to their consternation, that the police have roped off all possible entrance streets to their hotel for this block party. This will make it nearly impossible for them to park their car!  Justice will openly wonder if there is a football game today as several pedestrians pass by decked out in BC Lions and Saskatchewan Roughrider wear.

Justice will get into several brushes with the law as he attempts to convince various policemen/traffic cops that they need to park their car - Mrs L will end up using her seductive Asian wiles to convince the police officers to let her through the barricade.  The two of them will then face another struggle as it appears their hotel's parking lot is *full* - full of people parked for the BC Lions game.  Through some finangling and various tense negotiations, Justice and Mrs L will gently convince the staff of the hotel to find a parking stall for their car in lieu of getting beaten with a tire iron.  The staff will assume Justice and Helen are actually from the United States as they explain that there is a semi-final game going on and that "these things are huge in Canada".  

Hours after exploring Metropolis at Metrotown - the greatest shopping mall Justice has encountered besides the infamous video game mall in Hong Kong - Justice and Mrs L will take the train back up to Robson to do some book shopping at the three story Chapters.  When they hit the Stadium station at around 4 PM, Justice and Mrs. L will be astonished to see a *huge* crowd of people leaving the stadium already!!  It will turn out that

• the BC Lions demolished the Saskatchewan Roughriders or whatever they are called in the first period
• most of the people at the game wisely decided that they didn't need to stay at the game since the destruction had already occured
• there will be a distinct lack of rioting in contrast to the Blue and Red miles seen in Alberta
• the vast majority of the world will *still* not care about the CFL

Mrs. L and I will be travelling to Vancouver this weekend, and to say that I am pumped is a dramatic understatement.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with Vancouver, it is quite a bit like the "Promised Land" referred to in the Bible or the land they talk about in the Mr. Happy book from the Mr. Men series.  It is a place where everyone is friendly, even the cats and dogs have great smiles on their faces, just because they *live* there!!!   Milk and honey do not fall from the sky each morning in Vancouver but lobster and crab definitely do.

I could go on for pages about "Van", but the reason I am posting this is that I am just finalized part of our itinerary for this trip, and on Saturday night, Mrs. L and I are going here for dinner.   Probably for omakase!!!

If you're doubting me when I tell you that Vancouverites live in a state of perpetual ecstacy, just *look* at this guy on the home page of this restaurant.  Have you ever seen a man as cherubic as this?  This is the face of a man who has conquered his demons.  The face of a man who fought hard, loved hard, and lived hard to get to Vancouver, and now laughs at the thought of living somewhere else!! 

*sigh*  Ah, Vancouver...your sushi chefs never fail to inspire me to new heights of valor!