[ed: Ridley Thunder is not the real name of the gentleman who wrote this guest post and currently writes the "I am f**king 1000 dollar bills" blog.  However, it should be, as next to "Justice Gray" this is pretty much the coolest name anyone has ever had.  While Ridley is not a technical blogger he is a) hilarious and b) posts a picture of a naked or half-naked woman accompanying every single post he makes, thereby guaranteeing him being worth a look.  Ridley was actually the original inspiration for my getting into blogging a couple of years back, which means that
a) this blog has come full circle with this guest post
b) now you all know who is truly to blame for my becoming a sexual hero to millions of North and South Americans.]

"There was a time..." Gandhi said that once. Or Bruce Willis, I don't know. But there was a time where believe it or not I did NOT know Justice Gray. I distinctly remember that era as "High School." I remember hanging around with the wrong crowd, scrounging money for things like Image's many alternate cover comic books and CDs of Kriss Kross (they made me wanna jump, jump). I couldn't find a date if I had many calendars. I was so gameless that if a girl was bent over and sighing "GIVE IT TO ME RIDLEY" I don't think I would know WHAT to give to her. Then I graduated, as virgin as the white snow of cocaine my uncles imported from "the madreland." Then .....Justice happened (actually it's more like Suresh happened, then Justice happened through a happening of a happen, but I digress)

I clearly remember his first words to me:
"Come with me...."
"Where?" I asked
"We'll travel through infinity"
Little did I know that "infinity" meant his collections of Transformers dolls. Nevertheless seeing a gigantic Megatron was pretty kick ass. But because of this fateful meeting my life would be forever altered. I had countless of viewings of the original Transformers Movie, which still brings a tear to my eye. Not because of the movie mind you but because Justice beat me with a belt fashioned out of an old Optimus Prime figure every time I finished watching it, screaming "WATCH IT AGAIN! When Optimus dies, CRY HARDER!" Sort of like A Clockwork Orange without the cool gang suits. A year later Justice would teach me what piece fits the with the other piece IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. That's right, Tetris! Justice forced me to play Virtua Tennis until my hands were bleeding, then cackled every time he beat me. He would quiz me with innane trivia like "If you have to pick one Autobot to have sex with, who would it be? Ironhide or Jazz?!" Then he scolded me because I would chose Ironhide, "WHAT ARE YOU? RACIST!?" I don't know what that MEANS. 

After a while I moved out of the country to try to get away from Justice, but he just kept emailing and emailing and emailing me. Even after I blocked him, he hacked his way in. He even bribed the police to laugh at me every time I reported him (who knew the UK Police Dept were such MacBookphiles). I really think he became a computer programmer so he could continue to hack his way into my email and send me viruses every time I didn't fill out one of his 100 question "Get to Know me better" emails. Every question ended with a sly nod to him being "Supremely awesome", like take question 95 of this email "So who is your SECOND most supremely awesome person in your life? a) It's just Justice Gray and only Justice Gray b) Do you really want another Trojan Horse?

So like a beat puppy I limped my way back into the fold. But then Justice got married, started a blog, and taught me how to play poker. Which I kick ass in by the way. Now I finally live a normal life. This is 8 years afterwards. The lesson in all of this? Well in between the 8 years of torment I graduated from University, got a sweet gig, wrote a sweet blog, made some sweet love, and have some sweet friends. So you too can also survive with Justice Gray in your life, just like me.

Except you will be better at poker.

~fin

Ridley is the writer of the "I am f**king 1000 dollar bills" blog. He also likes to be called "Staff Sgt Max Fightmaster" but the ladies can just call me "Staff Sgt".

And "Oil Country" apparently means open-mouthed man kissing!!



Perhaps this is why I'm not as into the NHL as Steven or Donald...

Yet another mystery for the ages, I suppose...

Paul Graham has yet another awesome essay on his site.  If you haven't been reading Paul Graham, I would suggest you start - his essays are always thought-provoking and sometimes inspiring.  Like this one:

How to Do What You Love

One day I can only hope the content on this blog reaches that level!  Until that time you'll all have to just sit through more Suresh jokes.  ;) (Note: Paul Graham does not have an official RSS feed, but someone has been good enough to make one.  You can get it here.)

Since I'm a little under the weather today, I figured I'd post another one of the Hanselman questions for my granny, who is no doubt concerned for my welfare and thinks I should be back in bed!

Let’s say that my grandmother wants to look for some DVDs at a particular local shop. Now, this shop doesn’t run like any ordinary shop. To see if they have a certain DVD, my grandmother has to write down a list of relevant info on a piece of lined paper. Let’s say she is looking for any movie that starred Gape Kaplan that was made before 1980.

She writes down the following:
Actor = GabeKaplan
DateMade = Before 1980
Ignore = Welcome Back Kotter

and gives this piece of paper to the clerk. The clerk reads this information into a microphone and then the back room goes to work finding all relevant titles.

There are a couple of disadvantages to this approach – the company won’t give my grandmother any more paper to write her criteria on, and the paper itself is limited to around 5 lines. So if my grandmother wants to submit anything in detail, she can’t! Also, unless my grandmother starts writing her orders down in some sort of code, anyone else who is listening can hear what she is looking for – no privacy! She may be okay with looking for DVDs in this manner, but she definitely doesn’t want her orders being public knowledge. Not to mention that all of her contact info will not fit on that piece of paper!  My grandmother complains and because everyone listens to my grandmother, the process for actually ordering DVDs is changed, while the search method remains the same.

So, a week later Suresh comes in and he already knows what he is looking for: “Male Nurses Unchained”, Parts 70 through 75. With the new ordering process, he encloses all of his contact info as well as his order information and credit card number on some paper put into an envelope. When he goes up to the till, he tells them, “Order here” and hands them the envelope. They process his request and a week later he receives the shipment straight to his house.

What my grandmother has done, in terms of the HTTP protocol, is called a GET. A GET puts form values (her search criteria) into the URL string (that lined sheet of paper). GETs are recommend in situations where the interaction is like a question (a read operation, a lookup, or any of Gabe Kaplan’s film escapades). Now, the URL string is limited to 256 characters, sort of like that lined sheet of paper has a limited amount of lines. As well, unless the query string is encrypted that information is publically viewable.

Suresh, on the other hand, has executed a POST, which embeds the form values inside the body of the HTTP request (like Suresh’s envelope was given when he made his request). In addition to being slightly more secure, it’s also capable of being much denser than a GET (all of Suresh’s contact info, etc.) since it doesn’t have to contend with URL limitations. The W3C recommends using POST if

The interaction is more like an order, or
The interaction changes the state of the resource in a way that the user would perceive (e.g., a subscription to a service), or
The user be held accountable for the results of the interaction. [in all cases, like Suresh’s transaction].

Bonus: What is HEAD?

A HEAD request is similar to a GET request except no message body is returned (e.g. my grandmother makes a request for DVDs but gets nothing back). This might sound useless but it’s actually a way to simply test a URL for validity, accessibility, or recent modification.

I've been cleaning out my computer's hard drive and came across some old stuff I thought I would share.  Some background:  I was turning 25 and was determined to have quite possibly the greatest party of all time.  So, I made an amazing Flash presentation (not linked here) and then wrote more than 50 invitations, all of them personalized.  It definitely worked; only 2 people were unable to attend, and I even had people who were visiting from in town who came to the party once they heard about it!!  I doubt many will be *that* interested in this glimpse, but hey, it's my blog!! 

Attached is the text of the invite that I sent to Suresh:

To the scandalous stallion that some call “Suresh”,

 

You thought you could run.

You thought you could hide!!

You thought you could cower under the table in abject fear.

But after 25 years comes the event you thought you’d NEVER SEE!

The greatest singular social spectacular in NORTH AMERICAN HISTORY

An event so grandiose…that words cannot do it JUSTICE!!

(A HA HA HA HO HO HO…whew…*ahem*)

 

I know you can’t believe it, Suresh.  I can barely believe it myself!!  Like winning the lottery, like being STRUCK BY LIGHTNING, like being EATEN ALIVE BY A RAMPAGING SEAL when trying to cross 109^th Street…some people are just lucky enough to be that one person out of a million.  Here, without further adieu, is YOUR OPPORTUNITY to hit that home run!  To grab that brass ring!!  This is your invitation to a DATE WITH DESTINY!!  The 25^th birthday of Justice Adam James Engel Gray is nigh upon us.  Come to the Armoury (10310 – 85^th Avenue) anytime after 9:30 PM on June 22^nd to partake in the celebration.  Show up before 10 PM and tell them you want your life to be forevermore changed (or tell them you are there for my birthday) and get free cover and bypass any lines!!   Be witness to a spectacle 25 years in the making that may possibly include:

 

• My attempt at dancing!
• My attempt at drinking! (CONT ON BACK)
• Your chance to slaughter a drunken man at pool!
• A random passerby powerbombed through a table!
• Repeatedly! *
• At least one good WHOOOOOOOOOO~!
• Gratuitous nudity! **
• Commemorative merchandise!
• Most importantly, witness a 25 year old man making his last desperate drunken stand before being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the world of the grown ups!

 

I can’t wait, Suresh.  Imagine…finally, for the first time, you *AND* myself will drink… TOGETHER!!!  The first time EVER!!   The unstoppable force and the immovable object.  Suresh and Justice!!!  For the first time ever, on June 22^nd, the MEGAPOWERS WILL COLLIDE!!!  Yes, not since Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan shook hands in the centre of the ring will two such tumultuous forces of nature as you and I be drinking in the same place, at the same time!!  Men cry, and women faint at the mere thought of such a cataclysmic confrontation!!  And on that day…IT!  WILL!  HAPPEN!!  Dreams will be realized, worlds will be rent asunder! 

 

Can’t wait to see you there! 

  

-Justice ([phone number removed], http://www.justicegray.com/birthday)

* dependent on availability of spare tables @ the Armoury

** dependent on the amount of alcohol I’ve imbibed by the time you get there

And yes, these invitations (or similar ones) went out to *everyone*.  Because if there is one thing that Justice knows, it's how to throw a party (and if there are two things Justice knows, the second would be how to dynamically refer to himself in the third person).

Incidentally, the funniest part about this isn't the invitations or the completely over-hyped nature of my birthday party (the second greatest night ever next to my wedding to Helen), but the fact that Suresh wasn't able to come because the girl he was dating at the time  wouldn't let him go since she was angry at him.  Now *that* is a hilarious memory!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?
I am apparently still capable of making it through some aspects of junior high. Your mileage may vary!

WTF

I see Suresh has gone into education

Career

• Empowerment and Office Culture 
• Creating Passionate Users: Attenuation and the suck threshold

Development

• The Simpleton Design Pattern - The Daily WTF
  A little knowledge (or in this case, none whatsoever) is a dangerous thing...
  
• Brad Abrams : The SLAR (vol2) on System.Net.Authorization
  
• CarlosAg Excel Xml Writer Library
  
• Introduction to Generics (C#)
  Now that VS2005 is out, I can't wait to start playing with this stuff... 
• John Papa : CodeRush vs Resharper - Round 2
  More analysis of refactoring tools - although how relevant this would be to the 2005 early adopters is anyone's guess.
• Suzanne Cook's .NET CLR Loader Notes : LoadFile vs. LoadFrom
  Suzanne Cook's .NET CLR Loader Notes : ReflectionTypeLoadException
  I suppose it's pretty obvious where my attention has been the last day or so...
  

Tools

• Sysinternals Freeware - Autoruns 8.3
  Free software - find out everything that you've got running at startup.  Great for clearing out first load clutter!

When this blog was previously at Blogger, I wrote a post bemoaning the lack of available domain names.  Some of my original choices for domains were already taken; and worse, they weren't necessarily taken by anything good.  Notable among these were grayarea.blogspot.com, whose owner was probably arrested shortly after his one post, and of course shadeofgray.blogspot.com, the always entertaining diary of a 14 year old girl and her seventeen unfulfilled crushes at junior high (which was either written by a 14 year old girl or a failed soap opera writer). 

Moving off of Blogger had its advantages and disadvantages: for example, I no longer had to worry about the possibility of any of my friends posting on Blogger with an image of a giant swinging phallus.  Yes, I actually have a friend who has this as part of his profile on Blogger for some reason; no, I don't have any idea why - some questions, I find, are better left unanswered.  I also am able to post by category, so anyone who wants all posts where I make fun of Suresh can find them easily.

However, my available domain name selections weren't much better than Blogger.  No longer would I be being confused with a stalker in training or the next episode of Degrassi Jr. High!  No, now my domain could potentially be mistaken for either a web site that had 5 years worth of bisexual adult DVD reviews (likely a site that Suresh maintains) or a site devoted to "Sexual Harassment: Prevention, Training, Materials, and Services" (likely a site that Suresh caused).  I assume the site owners didn't mean to imply that they train people to sexually harass others, or provide sexual harassment to those who wish to pay their fees.  This reminds me of one company I used to work for who posted an ad for a computer class called "How to Beat Your Kids"...ah, if only they had mentioned somewhere that the class was about how to play computer games.  No wonder they eventually folded...=)

-J